Sellers point of view.

Hello buyers and thank you for coming to my yard sale.

I know our newspaper ad and signs say that we open at 7 am, but if you arrive at 6:00, go ahead and ring the doorbell several times and peek into our windows until we answer. We’ll open up early for you.

Your total comes to $3.00, you only have a $100.00 bill, sure I have change.

Feel free to bring your unleashed dog to our yard sale, and of course, let him poop in our yard. Our lawnboy will clean that up later.

Relaxing in your home 3 hours after your yard sale, someone walks in your front door and says, is your yard sale stuff in here.

For your convenience, we’ve taken the time to mark everything with a price. But go ahead and keep asking, how much do you want for this?

Yard sale customer comes back 3 months later and wants a refund.

Sure, come into our garage and light up your cigarette. My baby doesn't mind if you blow your smoke right into his face. While your at it why not leave the butts on the garage floor or flick them into the yard. We'll take care of those for you too. It's my mistake for not having an ashtray available.

I know 25 cents is a fairly steep price so let's haggle for 5 minutes about it. I don’t have anything better to do today.

Also, pick up a bunch of items and then tell me what they remind you of. Be sure to tell me about every aspect of your life. Don't leave anything out. I'd love to hear all about you. And when you put the item back, just throw it in a completely different spot, upside down or just all wadded up.

Your breakfast is going right through you, isn’t it? Of course you can come in and use our bathroom. Be sure to look in the medicine cabinet for any prescription meds you might need. And there's some spray up in the window in case you drop a deuce. Hope everything comes out ok!

Your the only one running your garage sale and someone comes up to you with an item with a price tag of $5.00 and says, the other lady said I can get this for $2.00.

Wow, you want to buy all of our grandmother’s antiques and at our full asking price?! Oh, but you don't have any cash with you. Well yes, you can certainly write us a check and then drive off with the merchandise! No worries. I'm sure you’re an honest person.

Thanks for buying that auto part, I don't mind that you park your car in my driveway and spend three hours installing it.

Where's your bathroom, my baby just had an accident and I'm out of baby diapers, one of your towels will work just fine.

Buyers point of view.

The huge box of broken and junk toys you set just outside your garage. Very thoughtful of you to give both of my kids a bag and telling them they can have all they want for free.

Having nothing priced, and telling me the jeans are $5.00, when I just heard you tell another person they were $3.00

Of course I don’t mind bending over and going through boxes of stuff set on the floor.

Telling me not to pick up or touch an item unless I’m buying it. Even though I know the makers mark is on the bottom.

Advertising your sale begins at 8:00, and not raising your door until 8:30.

Following me to the car still trying to sell me something I do not want.

Following the directions on your yard sale sign, I pull up in your driveway only to realize your sale was 3 months ago.

Allowing your little ones to ride through and around customers on bikes, trykes, or scooters.

Being too busy talking to your friends to answer questions or take my money.

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